|
On Friday…One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in dispair, he has his first meeting with a Demon.
Demon: Why so glum?
Demon: You a smoker?
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Demon: You into drugs?
Demon: You gay?
Christmas PartyAfter the annual office Christmas party blowout, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the president of the company to his face." "He's an asshole - piss on him." "You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you." "Well, fuck him," said John. "I did. You're back at work on Monday."
CusterAn eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said: "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return I expect to see it completed." Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the finished work. To his surprise he found a painting of a cow with a halo. Surrounding this were hundreds of Indians in various sexual positions. Furious, he called the artist in. "What the hell is this?" screamed the billionaire. "Why that's exactly what you asked for," said the artist smugly. "No! I didn't ask for a mural of pornographic filth. I asked for an interpretation of Custer's last thoughts!" "And there you have it," said the artist. "I call it, 'Holy cow, look at all those fucking Indians.'" Aiempien viikkojen vitsit voit lukea täältä. 31.12.1999
|